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Mental Health

How to handle being alone on a holiday

Hi all,

Today is Easter and I’m alone. My boo thang had to be in a different state for work so I’m rocking the holiday by myself. It took me a bit to be fine saying that but here I am being a grown ass woman letting you know I’m ok with being alone on a holiday. That was not always the case.

Would I rather have a huge Easter dinner and dress up in cute outfits and be around friends and family and eat chocolate bunnies ears first? HELL YES I would. Sometimes things just don’t pan out the way you would like them too.

Over the course of my career I’ve had to work many holidays. For some reason I always felt that was easier than being alone at home. Something to keep my mind busy and just almost think that it’s just another day and no big deal. But when you are alone and you have the day off it is a bit harder to take. I would always hate the dreaded questions ” What are you doing for Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years?” Sometimes I would just make things up instead of having to hear myself say nothing. A quick going to see family or my friend invited me over to her house would stop follow up questions.

At my very worst mental state I would dread holidays. I would get so depressed. I would see all the fun activities and events and even though I could have dragged my ass out to them I was having a pity party of 1 at home. I longed for the set dinner tables, the traditional food and the fun and festive atmosphere of people around me.

Now it seems I’m a bit older and wiser and on the right about of meds (hahaha) I can totally do a holiday alone and be fine. Do I still prefer the social part yes but here are a few things I have done over the years to enjoy the days a bit more.

  1. Volunteer

Just because it is a holiday doesn’t mean shelters, services and people in need take the day off. If you find yourself alone and are wanting to get out of the house try and find an organization that could use you for the day. Over the years I have served dinners at homeless shelters, brought Easter baskets to a women’s shelter for their kids, walked dogs at an animal shelter and delivered boxes of food for the elderly that may be alone as well but needed a bit of holiday cheer. You are helping others but are also helping yourself if your struggling mentally with your own holiday sadness. Here is a website you can go to to check on volunteer opportunities in your area. Just type in your city and zip code and you will all things locally.

2. Find a local fun run or 5K

Try and look to see if your area has a fun holiday event you can take part in. There is always a fun run or 5K around somewhere. They tend to be holiday themed with fun costumes and festive atmosphere. They always say if your feeling down a good walk or exercise to get the blood pumping can do wonders to boot a mood. You may not know all the people around you but just being in a fun environment will do wonders plus a little exercise couldn’t hurt.

3. Cook your favorite holiday meal

Just because you are by yourself doesn’t mean you can’t have a feast of your favorite holiday traditions. I am the absolute worst cook but even if I can’t make things myself I will go buy at least a few things. Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you can’t have a large amount of pie:)

4. Make the day a ME day

Places may be closed but you can plan ahead and have yourself a little spa day at a day spa or a DIY day at home. The 4th of July for me is my worst holiday. I am embarrassed to admit but I am terrified of fireworks. I’m like a dog and all I want to do is crawl under the bed and hide. So my new and fantastic tradition I do every year is check myself into a really expensive hotel and do a spa day and eat room service and watch horrible reality TV shows all weekend. When the fireworks start at nighttime I’m already a bottle of wine in and I’ll fall asleep around 8. That’s my thing but you could totally pick and start new traditions for yourself.

5. Try not to stress about it

I type this with it being easier said than done. All I’m trying to say with this one is try not to dwell too much on things that your not doing. If your missing some traditions and it makes you sad do a few to keep you in the spirit. Don’t feel forced to do them if it’s just going to make you miss anything. Start your own traditions. Do your own thing and if you want to wear bunny ears just for your dog that’s fine. You do you! The day is just another day and tomorrow will also be another day.

For those of you celebrating with friends and family today enjoy! To those of you like me that are alone today I urge you to pick one thing that makes you happy and go do it, or eat it or just take a nap. It’s your day to do whatever you want. ENJOY IT!



Mental Health

Happy Holidays!

Hi all,

Today is the big day for some! Myself included. I live all year for this. It’s my favorite time of year. If you are in that space I hope you enjoy this magical time with friends and family.

I also know that this time of year can be extremely difficult for some. I just want you guys to know that it’s ok. There was a time I dreaded the holidays.

I remember when I was in my abusive relationship that we I was so isolated from everyone and we never did anything for the holidays. When I was at work and that last business day of the year when everyone was giddy to get out of the office early. I was the last to leave because I had nowhere to go but home. Dreading the same question every year. “Whatcha doing for Christmas?” I lied through my teeth and said I was going home to family. It was the most deflective answer I could say. It seamed normal enough right?

In reality, I would get home and be told how I ruined his holidays and how he can’t go home because he’s embarrassed to take me anywhere.

I always stress how important self care is to anyone’s mental health. If you are still struggling and things are hard please don’t give up. Take a mini break in the shower, or if allowed go for a walk. Anything you can do to slow down and breathe. Those little breaks they can’t take from you. Keep your mind right and strong.

And if your struggling really bad like I was one year please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can chat if calling puts you in danger. I’ve used them many times and they really do understand.

Alright my friends I’m going to take a much needed break myself until the new year. I wish you all well and peace and I’ll chat with you again in 2022.




Knit Happens

So I have a dirty little secret. I’m absolutely obsessed with knitting. There… it’s out there and I said it.

I’ll get into a whole post about living with anxiety but I actually started knitting to help me calm down when I felt a panic attack coming on. It started out as a let’s try and see what this whole thing is about, to buying ALL the yarn I can find and getting all the gear. For me it really does work in calming me down so you can call it my emotional support hobby.

The dirty part of the secret…depends on who you ask…. is that I can only knit on a loom type device instead of the needles. I can barely use chopsticks so knitting needles was completely out of my skill level. It really is a good starting point but for sure not the hardcore knitter that will stab you in the neck with the needles if you make them miss a count. I think the levels are needle knitters, loomers and now they have knitting machines that all you need to do is turn a crank and got a scarf in like 20 min. Can I look down on the machine people since my skill lever is higher? I really just want to feel like I am on an intermediate level rather than rookie.

So far I have made what seems like a million scarfs and I just finished my very first blanket. It looks a little wonky but hey it’s all mine and I did it all by myself.

My addiction so far has me buying all the loom items I can find. So many options but I have linked the ones I have below.

For the newbie I would suggest starting out with just simple rectangle loom. This is were you will get to make some cute scarves. It’s super easy but I would suggest watching a few YouTube videos rather than reading the directions that come with it. Just follow along..pause..then continue.

Wayion Knitting Loom Set with Hook Needle Kit Yarn Cord Knitter 4 Hat Looms Long Knitting Loom DIYfor Scarf Sweater Shawl Blankets

Once I mastered the rectangle loom I moved on to the blanket maker. I do admit I freaking LOVE this one. It’s the same concept and the rectangle but it weaves around in an S shape for a longer width for a blanket. You can then decide how long you want to make it by knitting your way down. SO MUCH FUN. For my first blanket I used a crushed velvet luxious yarn. It’s so silky smooth and cozy.

Authentic Knitting Board Afghan Knitting Loom

I also bought this sock loom but to be honest I’m a little bit confused on how to do it. Remember I’m a knitting virgin so it’s a bit confusing with the instructions but after this current blanket I’m determined to figure it out. It’s getting cold here in Colorado so I want all the fuzzy socks I can make.

AKB Adjustable Sock Loom, Fine Gauge

Do you have a dirty little crafting secret? One where it’s getting out of hand. Where you are on all the blogs, facebook groups and Pinterest boards? I actually had a dream last night that I sold my knitting pieces and that paid for my living expenses. If anyone wants to buy wonky blankets and weird shaped socks I’m your girl. Hit me up.

Ok I’m off to become a stereo type. I have a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks a window cracked to feel and smell the fall air and getting ready to knit more of my blanket. Next stop Hallmark movie channel. OH God.. somebody stop me:)