Whew! Here we go.. Lets get into this.
It took me a few days to actually calm the fuck down after hearing his bullshit apology. We all have seen the progression of this story. It’s all too familiar.
Girl has enough strength to come forward to tell her story. People drag her though the mud saying she lies. Guy comes out saying she is tarnishing his reputation and denies any and all wrong doing. Video comes out explaining EXACTLY what girl says. Guys then apologizes and says he was “in a dark place and sought out therapy” All without ever apologizing directly to the girl. He’s just sorry the video came out.
So many things to unpack here.
When Cassie first came out and told her truth we all had somewhat of an idea that it could be totally true. We have known Diddy to be not the greatest of people. So many rumors have swirled around this man for years. So what pissed me off from the beginning is the comments saying she’s lying. She’s doing it for the money. Why didn’t she come forward sooner if it was true?
How inconsiderate can you honestly be? Regardless if you come forward right away or when you feel the strength to do so, who are we to judge this? Trauma and fear is a real thing and going up against a “powerful” man who has gotten away with this behavior for years could make anyone rethink if they should. Being a money grab? Do you not think she should be compensated for her pain and suffering? That’s a personal opinion everyone can answer but I don’t hate her for it. Each and everyday lawyers win lawsuits for personal compensation. The word money grab was just thrown out there because the asshole denied it for so long.
So once she comes out.. the denials follow. The breaking her down. The lawyers doing the lawyer talk but yet Diddy settles immediately. The girl got what she wanted right?. A payday! that was the narrative. Diddy’s lawyer said some bullshit like paying and settling does not assume guilt. Ok fine..we all know he was never going to admit it anyway. This is when the “poor me”, I’m being attacked and my character is trying to be tarnished started.
Honesty reading this again just makes me sick. Everything in the dark comes out in the light!
Fast forward to last week when the “sickening allegations” turned into facts. Into Proof. Into validation for Cassie and for all of us who have put up with the lies and denials. This video right here was what we wanted but never wanted to relive.
The blow by blow. The punching, kicking, dragging and throwing things. It’s all there. Everything this woman said was on the tape. Now what?
Silence. Silence for days. Not a peep from Mr. Denial. I can just imagine his lawyer. Heartburn meds and sleepless nights I’m sure. I don’t judge lawyers. Its a job but this dude seriously has had a hell of a few months with this guy.
When we finally do get the “apology” video it was as expected. I was in a bad place. I sought therapy. I was disgusted by what I saw on the tape and still am. Blah Blah Blah. He said sorry but to whom? I sure as hell didn’t here Cassies name mentioned.He says he can’t say her name due to legal reasons.
All of this is just so triggering for us that has lived this. Having to see the video. Feeling those emotions she must have felt in that moment. The blatant disrespect of everyone saying she is lying. The man who clearly on video IS doing those things giving a bullshit apology. We will always remember seeing the video and calling him for what he is but unfortunately nothing can be done about it.
He had to give his excuse of an apology because he was probably advised to do so. No criminal action can be taken says the police. He will be on the news cycle for weeks and everyone will talk shit and then we will move on to the next horrible event that happens in the world and he will go back on living his life. He will absolutely serve time in the public option. He will lose sponsorships and business deals. All we can hope is that whatever other shady shit he has done will come to light and the piss poor statue of limitations will still be in play.
I could care less what happens to this man and how his future looks. Preferably miserable or in prison. What I really want to see changed is how we treat our women and when they come forward let’s believe them until we know for sure. There of course are some bad ones out there that do it to actually hurt men. To lie and to gain something from it. But I honestly will always believe you until there is some reason where I can’t. Most guys will say that’s not fair to be targeted that way if it’s not true. What I hear when they say that is “I am the more dominant human here and womans feeling do not matter”
How can we stand up strong and have a voice when we are telling the truth and get even more beatdown for it then the actual event that we are talking about? How can we change the people around the abuser to come forward and say “Hey man.. That’s not right?” The ones who enable and hide the behavior are just contributing to the problem. Maybe they don’t even think what is happening is wrong. Maybe they are on the payroll of the powerful? Would that be considered a money grab? Knowing it’s wrong but taking the money to keep quiet?
What about the hotel that slept on this video for almost 10 years? What employee took the money instead of coming forward that a crime was committed. Was that a money grab?
Just so many things money can do to fail a victim here. No wonder it is hard to come forward again the powerful.
To anyone that has been told you are lying. You are just petty and trying to destroy someone. For every time you tried to tell your story but was silenced. To everyone that has to wake up the next day and cover your bruises and to live with the pain and aches…
I SEE YOU. I HEAR YOU. I BELIEVE YOU!
I am you. You are me. We will get though this together. We are in a group that should never even be formed. Please know you are not alone even though you feel like nobody cares. Nobody believes you. WE know the truth. We are here for you and please reach out to someone you trust even if just to talk.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
XOXO,
Amy
