Tag: life

Abuse · In the News

Why the Diddy thing is so triggering to Domestic Violence survivors.

swearingtotallyhelpsLeave a comment

Whew! Here we go.. Lets get into this.

It took me a few days to actually calm the fuck down after hearing his bullshit apology. We all have seen the progression of this story. It’s all too familiar.

Girl has enough strength to come forward to tell her story. People drag her though the mud saying she lies. Guy comes out saying she is tarnishing his reputation and denies any and all wrong doing. Video comes out explaining EXACTLY what girl says. Guys then apologizes and says he was “in a dark place and sought out therapy” All without ever apologizing directly to the girl. He’s just sorry the video came out.

So many things to unpack here.

When Cassie first came out and told her truth we all had somewhat of an idea that it could be totally true. We have known Diddy to be not the greatest of people. So many rumors have swirled around this man for years. So what pissed me off from the beginning is the comments saying she’s lying. She’s doing it for the money. Why didn’t she come forward sooner if it was true?

How inconsiderate can you honestly be? Regardless if you come forward right away or when you feel the strength to do so, who are we to judge this? Trauma and fear is a real thing and going up against a “powerful” man who has gotten away with this behavior for years could make anyone rethink if they should. Being a money grab? Do you not think she should be compensated for her pain and suffering? That’s a personal opinion everyone can answer but I don’t hate her for it. Each and everyday lawyers win lawsuits for personal compensation. The word money grab was just thrown out there because the asshole denied it for so long.

So once she comes out.. the denials follow. The breaking her down. The lawyers doing the lawyer talk but yet Diddy settles immediately. The girl got what she wanted right?. A payday! that was the narrative. Diddy’s lawyer said some bullshit like paying and settling does not assume guilt. Ok fine..we all know he was never going to admit it anyway. This is when the “poor me”, I’m being attacked and my character is trying to be tarnished started.

Honesty reading this again just makes me sick. Everything in the dark comes out in the light!

Fast forward to last week when the “sickening allegations” turned into facts. Into Proof. Into validation for Cassie and for all of us who have put up with the lies and denials. This video right here was what we wanted but never wanted to relive.

The blow by blow. The punching, kicking, dragging and throwing things. It’s all there. Everything this woman said was on the tape. Now what?

Silence. Silence for days. Not a peep from Mr. Denial. I can just imagine his lawyer. Heartburn meds and sleepless nights I’m sure. I don’t judge lawyers. Its a job but this dude seriously has had a hell of a few months with this guy.

When we finally do get the “apology” video it was as expected. I was in a bad place. I sought therapy. I was disgusted by what I saw on the tape and still am. Blah Blah Blah. He said sorry but to whom? I sure as hell didn’t here Cassies name mentioned.He says he can’t say her name due to legal reasons.

All of this is just so triggering for us that has lived this. Having to see the video. Feeling those emotions she must have felt in that moment. The blatant disrespect of everyone saying she is lying. The man who clearly on video IS doing those things giving a bullshit apology. We will always remember seeing the video and calling him for what he is but unfortunately nothing can be done about it.

He had to give his excuse of an apology because he was probably advised to do so. No criminal action can be taken says the police. He will be on the news cycle for weeks and everyone will talk shit and then we will move on to the next horrible event that happens in the world and he will go back on living his life. He will absolutely serve time in the public option. He will lose sponsorships and business deals. All we can hope is that whatever other shady shit he has done will come to light and the piss poor statue of limitations will still be in play.

I could care less what happens to this man and how his future looks. Preferably miserable or in prison. What I really want to see changed is how we treat our women and when they come forward let’s believe them until we know for sure. There of course are some bad ones out there that do it to actually hurt men. To lie and to gain something from it. But I honestly will always believe you until there is some reason where I can’t. Most guys will say that’s not fair to be targeted that way if it’s not true. What I hear when they say that is “I am the more dominant human here and womans feeling do not matter”

How can we stand up strong and have a voice when we are telling the truth and get even more beatdown for it then the actual event that we are talking about? How can we change the people around the abuser to come forward and say “Hey man.. That’s not right?” The ones who enable and hide the behavior are just contributing to the problem. Maybe they don’t even think what is happening is wrong. Maybe they are on the payroll of the powerful? Would that be considered a money grab? Knowing it’s wrong but taking the money to keep quiet?

What about the hotel that slept on this video for almost 10 years? What employee took the money instead of coming forward that a crime was committed. Was that a money grab?

Just so many things money can do to fail a victim here. No wonder it is hard to come forward again the powerful.

To anyone that has been told you are lying. You are just petty and trying to destroy someone. For every time you tried to tell your story but was silenced. To everyone that has to wake up the next day and cover your bruises and to live with the pain and aches…

I SEE YOU. I HEAR YOU. I BELIEVE YOU!

I am you. You are me. We will get though this together. We are in a group that should never even be formed. Please know you are not alone even though you feel like nobody cares. Nobody believes you. WE know the truth. We are here for you and please reach out to someone you trust even if just to talk.

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

XOXO,

Amy

anxiety · Personal Stories

Why taking a break is ok.

swearingtotallyhelps1 Comment

Hi my name is Amy. Remember me? I’m that girl that writes about domestic violence and all the crazy things we have to go through in life and likes to say the F word more than she should.

Sometimes we all know life can get a little messy and we need to just sit our asses down and breathe.

That was me. It kind of still is but i’m slowly getting back to it and I missed my little community here. 

Here is the excuses..I mean reasons..for my month long disappearence.

1. I had a unexpected 2 and a half week work trip to Mexico. More on that in a minute.

2. My depression and anxiety decided to show up in the worst possible way and I actually had a life changing event happen.

3. Both of these things just happened to happen at the exact same time. 

You haven’t lived until you have a full blown panic attack across international waters.

So what have I been up to and why was taking a break so important?

My mental health has always had it’s ups and downs since my abusive relationship ended. One minute I am doing my thing and feeling like I am moving though life relatively legit like a normal human should. Bills are getting paid, getting the mundane tasks like laundry, doctor’s vistis for me and my fur babies scheduled and always wondering what the heck to have for dinner. 

But the last month or so I seriously felt those tasks start to slip. My energy levels were way down. I would wake up exhausted, power though the day and when it came time for bed.. wide awake and then the cycle continued day after day, week after week. 

I felt myself getting more and more agitated over little things. I would cry at the full spectrum of things. Sappy tv commercials (I’m looking at you Publix) or the news about something sad and unthinkable. I would start to tear up if my significant other even had a slight change of tone with me. 

All the signs of my mental health slipping were there and I was slipping fast.

Work was getting a bit stressful, home life was too much to bear with us bickering back and forth and I was just over EVERY. DAMN. THING.

I managed to get myself to the doctor finally and let them know my struggles. Adjusted some meds, took a few lab tests to check a few things and realized something a bit concerning.

My doctors told me that I recently had a silent heart attack. What the entire fuck? Silent for sure because I had no clue and was completely baffled by the words they were saying to me. Immediately I was hooked up to a few more machines where they could scope out my heart further. Cardiologist’s discussed the condition of my heart and the next steps in making sure the next one was not silent!

After processing and learning more about heart health, especially in women, I am learning that the constant stress from my past relationship, the new stress of working through those emotions, and years of not being able to take the best care of myself has contributed to my heart attack.

I have to completely adjust to a new way of handling things whether I like it or not. I have no choice. It gets a bit tricky when you still have major triggers that can bring on panic attacks or your fear reflex is on high alert. Stress and panic is honestly part of my everyday. Hate to admit that but it’s so true. Now they tell me not to panic because of my heart..which totally makes me panic more to be honest.

Let’s just say it’s been an adjustment.

While I have been dealing with my medical issues I had a pretty amazing opportunity through work come up.

I work in hospitality for an amazing upscale luxury hotel brand. From time to time other hotels in the family are lacking staff or need help durning busy seasons so they ask other properties if they can send help. This time the help is me and the help needed is in beautiful Mexico. Beaches, mountains, tacos, tequila and sunny days? Sign me up.

My assignment was two and a half weeks and honestly it was the break in my everyday that I truly didn’t know I needed. Life as I described earlier was hectic. Dogs, man, messy house, and just feeling trapped inside of my own personal hell.

Accepting the position did come with its own challenges. My panic meter spiked after I said yes. Traveling alone to another country where I speak absolutely NO Spanish started to make me nervous. The resort I was going to was safe but it was in the middle of nowhere. Nearest town would be an hour away. Once you are there you are there. Do I need to pack EVERYTHING? What if I need something and I can’t get it. These were my thoughts. Then I tell myself I’m going to be living in the most luxe resort and knowing my company like I do, going without isn’t an option. If you need it they will get it.

It all happened a bit fast. From accepting the offer to flying out was a few days. I packed and took care of everything at home and hopped on that plane with a hope things will all be ok. It was until it wasn’t.

Mid flight I had a pretty bad panic attack. Like I had to get up from my window seat, bother the two others to get up and headed to the small bathroom to cry in peace. This was all too much for me I think. Having a major health issue, leaving my support system at home and being alone for a while maybe wasn’t the best choice. What felt like hours was only 5 minutes and I washed my face and headed back to my seat.

Told myself to make the most of it and it’s going to be fine.

Fast forward to today. I’m nearing the end of my tour here and I have to say it was EXACTLY what I needed. Being alone for these weeks has giving me time to think, reflect and set new priorities I need to move into a safer, calmer phase of life. I spent time at the beach, just me and the waves. I took walks to work on strengthening my body and heart. I ate the most amazing meals and the people of Mexico I will always hold a special place in my heart.

I have learned that I tend to panic over things that have not happened yet or if they even will. I was so worried about everything that could have gone wrong. Not one thing that kept me up at night even happened. All that wasted energy could have been focused on other things.

So as a promise to myself here are a few of the things I am working on moving forward:

  1. Try not to worry too much about events that have not or could not happen. Worrying about current issues is ok but I promise not to waste time or energy on the “what if’s”
  2. Try and move my body for at least an hour every day. I noticed by doing this whatever stress that was creeping up went away once I started to move. Walking, swimming, whatever…just get out there and move.
  3. I do not need to eat when I’m bored. I had ALOT of alone time with no distractions. This is typically a trigger for me to eat. When that urge arose I went for a walk, or swim, or working on this little community we are building. Funny how when your busy, that thought of food was not even in my brain.
  4. Listen to my body. When I was tired, I slept. When I felt good I went for a walk or worked on things that I needed a bit more focus. Taking bath in the middle of the afternoon. Why the hell not!

So I know this post was more about me and what I have been going though and not much help for others but I want to update everyone on where I have been the last few weeks. Now that it is out in the universe I feel obligated to follow my own damn advice for a change. I’m so quick to help others but haven’t been taking care of myself much. That changes today! What’s that phrase..Please put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others? My ready to help myself finally so I am stronger in supporting and serving others.

Ok folks, that’s it for today. I have a few days left in paradise and I want to get out and enjoy it!

XOXO,

Amy

WTF

Daylights Savings Time: How to survive it

swearingtotallyhelpsLeave a comment

Hey all,

Can we chat about the crazy thing that happens twice a year that makes us cranky, moody and tired?

The time when EVERYONE gets to know how it feels to be US on a daily basis. Daylights Savings Time is not ever a surprise and we know it’s coming but damn if it doesn’t creep up and bite you in the ass at 4pm when all you want to do is go to sleep.

My thing is why does it actually make you so tired losing an hour when we all have had way less nights of sleep? This just seems worse and hard to adjust too right?

Right now I work in hospitality. In one week I could work every damn shift they offer so my sleep rhythms are already messed up. Not sure it that’s an advantage to brag about but I guess I’ll take every bit of help.

I know that losing/gaining an hour and having sunsets and sunrises mess with sleep schedules and they are the least of our world problems but studies have shown it does take a toll on the body. It science people!

Here are a few things I found about the effects it can take on this thing called Google:

  1. With Daylight Savings Time, between March and November, your body is exposed to less morning light and more evening light, which can throw off your circadian rhythm. When your internal clock is out of sync with the sun’s clock, you can feel tired in the morning and awake in the evening.

2. According to the American Heart Association, in addition to the fatigue, the transition can also affect your heart and brain. Hospital admissions for an irregular heartbeat pattern known as atrial fibrillation, as well as heart attacks and strokes, increase in the first few days of daylight saving time.

3. Losing an hour of afternoon daylight after setting the clocks back to standard time can trigger mental illness, including bipolar disorder, and seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression. A Danish study found an 11% increase in depression cases after the time change.

4. A 2020 study found fatal traffic accidents increased by 6% in the United States during daylight saving time.

Then I found this gem…

Strange as it may seem, Daylight Saving Time might mean you find yourself in more serious legal trouble. According to a 2016 study from the Association for Psychological Science, judges hand out harsher sentences the day after the DST switch.

So basically if you get arrested the judge is going to be cranky like the rest of us so your fate is in the hands of a sleep deprived, moody judge. Good luck folks:) It’s going to get crazy out there.

So what can we do to stay safe and avoid the next plot for a disaster movie? Here are a few that I do:

  1. Try and still get the same amount of sleep each and every night. I try and forget about what the clock says.I just need to know my body needs 6-7 hours of restful sleep. Try and get that the best you can. If you need to cancel plans just chill on the couch and go to bed accordingly.

2. Let the sunshine in and embrace it. If you have the Sunday off..get outside. Take a walk, be active, let that hot ball of fire get on your skin (with sunscreen of course) and know that the earth voodoo is helping sync your body into the new schedule.

3. If you do have to work the day after the change try and make it as light as you can. Some can, some can’t but either way be kind to your self. Drink water, have a zen moment in the bathroom if you need it. Today is not the day to tackle the worlds problems.

4. Take a nap. If you are truly going through it, it’s ok to take a short nap. Rest your eyes even. If you can just take 30 minutes to rest that short timeframe can boost you to get through the rest of the day. Anything longer may make you feel groggy.

Most people say it takes anywhere from 5-7 days to fully get into the new time change. So buckle up buttercup..we all know how to handle it but the rest of the “strong ones” it’s going to be a rough go for them.

So what do you think? Are you a fan or hate it or indifferent? I think it’s just the norm now and we all power though but do you think it’s a good idea to do away with it completely?

The big change happens Sunday March 10th at 2am. Make sure to set the clocks before bed and we will see on the flip side!

XOXO

Amy

.

Abuse · Personal Stories · Relationships

The dreaded silent treatment and what to do about it.

swearingtotallyhelpsLeave a comment

I have been through this so many times that I can’t even tell you a number. And each and every time it hurts like hell. When I was going through it I always felt like I was invisible, insignificant and not worth much. Why wasn’t he speaking to me and trying to work this out? Why does he shut down and ignore? Doesn’t he see how much this hurts and it’s making me go to places in my brain I do not want to go.

Well…

They do know. They are trying to hurt you and yes, they are trying to make you slowly go crazy. The silent treatment is a form of abuse and it’s a way for the abuser to control you.

How many times have you felt the need to apologize just to keep the peace? They flew off the handle, but you’re the one being punished. You feel like you have to apologize to make them feel better knowing damn well you did nothing wrong. I am realistic here and let’s just say you did make a little mistake you should be able to talk about it in that moment and it should be ok. Sincerely apologize and keep it moving. That’s how it should work.

When you are in a toxic relationship this could be a daily or weekly occurrence. You start to question if you really ARE the problem. What is so wrong with you that you make him so mad all the time?

The answer is nothing. Every couple will fight…it’s going to happen but how you treat each other in that moment is what will make or break a relationship. Being heated and maybe saying something you shouldn’t happens. We are human, that’s normal, but saying something hurtful to your partner then shutting down and ghosting you is not.

So what is the Silent Treatment and what can you do to help your mental health while going through it.

The silent treatment is when your partner, parent or friend is hearing what you say, write, text and they purposely ignore. It’s a control tactic they put in place to make YOU the one that is struggling with the silence. I will talk about gaslighting in a future post but this is a form as well.

They want YOU to be the one that is the problem and they want YOU to know that they are not happy. They want YOU to be the one groveling back and saying sorry first. To admit YOU messed up. To beg them for forgiveness. It’s all about having the upper hand and making your point of view and feelings pushed back and non existent. YOU are the one suffering while they sit back and what you implode.

Some woman I talk to will not think of the silent treat as abuse. They say they are not getting hit or they are not being yelled at and called names..it’s just silence. I completely understand there are levels to things. Each of us has a story for sure we could tell. But what the silent treatment actually does to your mind and body is 100% real. You may not have a bruise or a screaming partner in your face but you do actually have long term effects from it.

So what does it actually do to you while you are going through it? Well some studies have actually shown that the silent treatment triggers the brain as it would if you are being physically hurt.

A study at Perdue University shows that the silent treatment triggers the anterior cingulate cortex which is the same area in the brain that triggers physical pain. 1400 participants in the study also showed extreme bouts of panic/anxiety attacks, depression, erectile disfunction and bowl issues.

Different levels of emotional stress could lead to more serious health risks, such as eating disorders, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, blood clots and cancer. Just because they are not laying hands on you this is STILL a form of abuse and should be taken vary seriously.

I have totally been there. When it first started happening it would consume every inch of me. If they were in the house I would talk, cry, have panic attacks and feeling so low about myself that going to a dark place was easy. I just wanted the pain to stop. I would always say I would rather have them yell at me because at least I was being seen and acknowledged. Sometimes I even thought that I’d rather get punched because the physical pain subsided easier than the emotional. Crazy to think I was trying to choose between which abuse I wanted.

If they left the house or not around me I would rapid fire texts telling them how I feel, how bad it hurts and I’m so sorry I hurt you and please forgive me and blah, blah, blah. Why the fuck am I apologizing when they were the ones inflicting pain. I always did it though. I was desperate to be seen. To be heard. To be acknowledged, and understood.

The more he did it the crazier I would become. I was playing right in to what he was telling me. Your too emotional, Why are you so crazy?, You are the reason why I need to leave he would say. Was I? I was crying a lot, having panic attacks, am I the cause of all this? I would tell myself awful things and start to believe I really was the problem.

So what are things you can do to power though the silent treatment and remain calm as to not damage your body and self worth.

Make sure you know for sure if it truly is the silent treatment. Some people really do need a cooling off period.Most rational and an effective form of communication would be to say ” I need a break from this but we can talk about it later” This shows that they really do care about the topic..but maybe they just need time to collect their thoughts, calm down and come back to resolve the issue TOGETHER.

This is easier said than done but at least try to gather your thoughts before the full on texts come out.

Calmly state your feelings verbally or in writing. Let them know that the silent treatment is hurtful and draining. Let them know how you’re feeling. Make sure he knows what his silence is doing to you and how it’s effecting you mentally and physically. If you feel strong enough you can stand up and let him know you will not tolerate this behavior. Please only do this if you feel safe. Please only do this one time. This is what they want is to hurt you. Be clear. state the facts, and then take a breathe.

Step back and control the urge to keep talking. As much as you want to keep talking it’s best to fall back a bit. If you calmly expressed how you feel and they still did not respond then you need to let them be. Even though they are not responding they ARE seeing your messages and with every crazy text it just makes them feel more in control. They know you are hurting and that’s exactly what they wanted. If you say your peace and then stop you are not giving them the satisfaction of watching or hearing you break down.

Put your mental state first. You need to take care of you during this time. You may be crying or going crazy on the inside but please try and remember your self worth. You do not deserve this and the only person that will take care of you is you. Take a shower or bath, go for a walk, work on something you can’t do much of because of your partner. What brings you joy and a distraction? I personally take a hot shower. I allow myself to cry a little bit alone and then I try and tell myself all the things I do well. Give yourself a pep talk. You ARE worth it.

I know not everyone has the same situations. I’m fully aware the consiqences that some of these can bring. First and foremost I want you to be safe. If you really can’t express the hurt and pain it causes you then it’s best not to say anything. Meanwhile use that time to work out a plan in your head on how to get out. When I was at the worst point with my ex I would use the shower as an escape to be alone with my thoughts. I could never tell him how I felt because it would end badly but he could never take my internal thoughts away from me.

Bottom line is that the silent treatment is NEVER ok. If you have a mutual respect for each other it should be ok to talk things out opening. You should never feel like your being punished. That your words do not matter. Cooling off is fine as long as there is a time you can talk later. I know it’s so hard to process when you are left with nothing and no idea when it will end..just know you deserve better and deserve a partner that will always listen to you if it’s good or bad.

CONFESSION:

Wow! After writing this I can feel the anger and hurt I still have when I think about it, I’m 5 years removed and sometimes a trigger can set me back a little bit but it’s all about a process and everyone is different. It’s good to be open and honest with yourself about how your feeling about certain things. My truth is that this set me off a little bit. I can sense it in my writing and how I said things. I can feel the panic and pain I had during those times. Time to take a shower and have a little me time with my thoughts.

That’s all for now.

XOXO

Amy

Personal Stories · Relationships

Jumping to Conclusions and Thinking the Worst

swearingtotallyhelpsLeave a comment

If thinking the worst and jumping to conclusions were an Olympic sport I WOULD DOMINATE on a global scale. It’s my go too, my wheelhouse, my comfort zone. Is it wrong? Hell yes it’s wrong..but can I stop? No way.

I always joke that I can go from sniffles to death on a simple google search. I can take a minor thing like not texting back right away to them being mad and hating me. If my boss asks to chat with me quick I automatically think I’m getting fired.

Just yesterday I picked up my guy at the airport. I typically get out of the drivers side to go to the passenger side so he can drive. After I pop the truck and get out so he can put his bags in the back we typically meet in the middle somewhere while I am going around and hug and kiss as a welcome home I love and miss you gesture. This time he walked right into the car and buckled up. No kiss, no hug NOTHING. I of course think the worst. OMG he is mad, he hates me, he’s going to break up with me in the car, He’s got bad news…blah blah blah.

I run through EVERYTHING before I even get in the passengers seat. He then has the nerve to ask ME what’s wrong? HAHAHAHA! I confessed I was panicing and he admits he was just focused to get in the car since we were blocking lane. Nothing more. He immediately calms my fears and we go about our day like nothing ever happened.

I’m highly aware how exhausting I must be, always having to reassure me the sky is not falling. I really do try and let things play out without a freak-out but if my anxiety is already at a high level there is no stopping the panic. It’s game on!

But why do I do this? Therapists have said it’s because I have had a lot of loss and trauma in my life. I guess I need to make sure nothing else happens. Also because of my past abuse I always think I’m in trouble or in the wrong so I need to hurry up and figure out what’s happening so I can brace for impact of bad things. I try and fix it right away. It’s all I can focus on. Meanwhile the other person simply forgot to text back. It probably is just a small cold and not a life treating injury or in my guys case just wanted to get in the car.

So what can we do to try and stop the spiral? Here are the things that I do. It’s still a work in progress obviously but I do try and practice these steps.

  1. Stop Time Traveling– Most of the thoughts I have would be happening in the future. The what if’s. What if I fail? What if he’s going to be mad? What if I see a pretty cloud and am looking up and then get hit by a huge bus and DIE? If we take a minute to think in the present. We can maybe slow our roll. Maybe look at the clouds AND check traffic. Maybe wait and see if he or she is actually mad before you keep pestering them by asking IF they are mad. Fun Fact: It will probably make them mad if you keep asking.

2. Play out the worst case- So if you must go down the dark path of what if’s.. Then let’s go there. What if you fail? Ok we fail. Do we try again, move on or work harder and figure out what went wrong.

What if he’s mad? Ok he’s PISSED. What can we do to make it better? Let’s apologize and figure out where we went wrong so it’s not an issue moving forward.

If we are looking at clouds and get hit by a bus. Maybe we get everything in a secure place for our loved ones. Let’s not take the day for granted. Let’s always put our best foot forward and live for the moment. Unless that one foot is the foot that get’s you hit by a bus:)

By playing it out you take back a little control and will know exactly what to do if the worst does come. You can totally let out a I TOLD YOU SO as well if it makes you happy.

3. Play out the best case- It’s the same game as above but with the better outcome. Again either way you are going to be in control with whatever way it pans out. If we fail what can I do better next time? If he’s mad, it’s good that the can communicate that to you. Talk about it calmly and thank them for being honest. Hit by a bus? Well that outcome is pretty dark no matter what..but you COULD totally survive the bus attack and then advocate for better crosswalks and pedestrian safety.

4. Would you say this out loud? The example with the sniffles turning into a rare illness that will kill you in 6 months. Would you actually tell someone that? Out loud?

With things that can be a little out there I always ask myself that question to see if I’m willing to share my paranoia with others. If it’s my guy I’m more prone to blurt it out since he knows how my head works. If it’s a co worker and telling them my sniffles is going to kill me in 6 months so I’m gifting you my stapler is a bit harder. If it’s hard to say to other people, maybe take a step back and think to yourself, am I making this a HUGE deal when it’s in the nothing stage yet?

5. Journal- Sometimes all the steps above are no match for anxiety. I have found that journaling or writing down the fears can have a positive impact. I play the best/worst case on paper so I can see just how outrageous it can be when I read it back. This blog is a bit of a helpful tool for me as well. I know if I write it down others can read. It’s a gut check sometimes.

Everyone is different on how they handle things. Some people are full on jumpers like me and others it’s just a quick thought and then they move on. Wherever you land on the scale just know that we all have moments like this. It’s just how you handle them that makes a difference.

The one thing I found that can help is once I play out the worst case, I can typically laugh at it. It’s a funny now and not at the time type of thing.

I thought we could all share (if you’re comfortable) our funniest worst case/ jumping to conclusions moments.

Here’s mine:

I dated a man that lived out of town and when he would come stay with me he always brought a little duffle bag with him for the weekend. One weekend he came and he had a lock on the bag. I’m not one to really go through peoples stuff but I was so worried why all of a sudden he had a lock on the bag.

Why? What the eff was in there? Why now? Why can’t you be open and honest with me? Are there murder supplies like a knife and a tarp to hide my body? My thoughts got to the point where I finally had to confront my future murderer.

He then opened the lock to the bag and pulled out a fancy little box and presented me with my DAMN BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Yes folks, I confronted him on my birthday. He put the lock on it because he wanted the gift to be secure while he was traveling. UGH. I’m an idiot.

Ok your next. What have you done when you should of just slowed down and walked through everything?

XOXO

Amy