Therapy: Lay down and tell me what’s wrong.

Hey all,

By now you have read about my struggles with domestic violence, anxiety and depression. I’ll link them here if you wanted to catch up. A little light and fluffy ready for your Tuesday:)

Today I wanted to talk to you a little bit about therapy options. Aww therapy! I love you. I hate you. You make me feel better but you also make me cry in a ball on the floor.

Therapy is something I struggle with quite a bit. I am very eager to go. Staying consistent is the problem. I’m not ashamed of it. But somehow when I get there I clam up. I act like I have my shit together and I’m wasting both my time and my therapists.

I am the poster child for therapy. I have made first appointments and then cancelled. I have gone to therapist’s one time and after spilling my guts never gone back. I have called crisis 800 numbers but hung up before someone answered. I’m done some of the bigger online therapy apps. Texting someone all my biggest issues seemed less scary at first. I can honestly say I’ve done it all.

The most important thing is to try. Make the first step. Finding the right therapist is key and now with so many different platforms and groups you can totally find the right fit for you. It’s totally ok if you don’t like the first one you go to.

My very first therapist I went to after my abusive relationship basically told me if I was going to cry the whole session we would never get anywhere. WTF? I was so hurt by that comment and moved right along to the next one.

You need to feel comfortable. Things will get hard in there but starting in a safe space will make the hard conversations bit easier.

If your not ready for a one on one face to face there are a few other options for you. I’ve tried them all and you just need to find the one that makes the most sense.

Let me break down a a few for you.

In Person Therapy

Sometimes it’s easy easier to talk to someone in person. This is my preferred way. It’s seems more like a conversation and for me a bit easier to get my thoughts out. The main thing is for you to be comfortable in that setting and finding the right one you can open up to. I can tell you I’ve gone through a few that I knew right away it wasn’t going to be a good fit. Just whatever you do don’t feel like you have to stick with them if your not comfortable. They go through it a lot so no need to feel obligated.

Check with your health insurance provider first to see what is covered. If you need to find one in your network you can easily search on your plan’s website to find locals near you. Another option is to use the site goodtherapy.org. You can put in your zip code and it will pull up everyone close by you. You can also get specific on what type of therapist you would like from family, relationships, anxiety and depression. Do some digging and try and match the best you can and if it doesn’t work out on to the next one.

Online/App

Two of the bigger companies out there are Talkspace and Betterhelp. These online platforms are great for people who get really nervous or are new to therapy. You can send text messages, live chat, video chat or call. It’s a great way to test the waters and see how you feel.

While normally in person visits could cost $150-$200 per session, online can cost you that per month. It’s a great way to get the help you need if you are on a budget. Both companies have top notch therapists and are backed by many organizations in the health care field. Play around on both websites and see what you think about it. This is also a great option if you have a hard time taking off work for appointments. Texting throughout the day might be way easier for you.

Group Therapy

This one took me a bit to come around too but I actually like it the most now. Something about sitting in a group with people that are going through the same type of struggle you are is somewhat soothing.I feel less alone.

It’s one thing to have close friends say they understand but these women REALLY understand. You never have to sugarcoat what happened because they lived it too. I found myself watering down what happened when I had to tell my friends for the first time.

It was completely weird the first time and it’s EXACTLY like what you see on TV. Hi! My name is Amy and I …Blah Blah blah. But it really has been the best experience. And best of all most of the groups are FREE!!!!

These top 3 options are a good start but what if you are struggling financially? Let’s talk a bit about payment options.

When I was free of my abuser I had nothing left to my name. Like 20 dollars at that’s it. But there are things you can do. I just mentioned the group therapy option. These can be run by non profit groups or churches. I found mine through a domestic violence shelter. Some shelters or non profits can actually run their own groups. Please use them as a resource. They are truly there to help you. They expect you to ask for help and that is why they are there.

The other option is if you find an in person therapist you like ask them if they can work on a sliding scale. They of course need to be paid for the help they offer but some really do understand the need for therapy and the struggle it can be to pay for it and they can work with you. I think my very first therapist was right out of college and we BOTH were living off of Ramen noodles. I paid this saint of a woman 50 bucks each time.

If you are a student check with your student health center. They may offer free or discounted resources. Just don’t be afraid to ask for help. That’s what they are there for.

The last option could be to check out a few of the federally funded health centers in your area. They also can offer free or low cost mental health options. Some even have grants that allow you to apply for funds to apply to any health care professional. You can keep your pay per hour therapist but they will give you some cash to help pay for it.

If you are overwhelmed and are having a rough patch and just need someone RIGHT NOW..please utilize the 1-800 numbers and websites below. They are crisis lines and they are trained to get you the help you need ASAP.

Here are a few I have used and others I recommend.